We live in a world that is saturated with well-intentioned advice, health fads, and endless memes of sage words. We have knowledge and networks at our fingertips like never before. And yet, anxiety and depression, social disconnection and suicide, metabolic disorders and chronic diseases, are all rife and rising. What’s going so wrong?
At serious risk of adding further noise to the well-meant cacophony of advice, I’ve compiled a short list of simple principles by which we can guide our thoughts and actions. They’re basic. Really basic. Obvious, even. But how many of us follow them, and what would happen if we did?
There is a kind of folk wisdom in their simplicity, the kind of wisdom that has been passed down through cultures and families for centuries. The stuff your mum or grandma told you, and you largely ignored. Or forgot. In this mad, modern world, it’s so easy to lose your way.
So here are seven ways to help you find your path in the dark forest:
- Sleep. This is the keystone. Everything else falls into place from here, if you can get it right. That’s why it’s number one. Create a wind-down ritual in the evening, like a gratitude practice, a yoga nidra or body scan, or just reading a good book. Avoid screens. Go to bed early. Get at least seven hours, preferably more. Set a gentle alarm. Wake up at the same time every day. Establish a beneficial routine. In the morning, don’t rush. Take your time getting up. Plant both feet on the floor. Be thankful. Feel restored. Stretch and massage your body. Breathe and fill your body with oxygen. Go get some fresh air and natural light. Go slowly, but lightly. Transition gladly. Wake up.
- Eat. Pick minimally processed, whole foods. Wash before use. Avoid too much raw food, and don’t overcook, either. Pay attention while you chew. Savour the flavours. Be at peace while you eat. Stop before you’re full. Don’t snack. Don’t eat close to bedtime. Give your gut a break. Drink plenty of water. Choose oily fish, dark leafy greens, beans, lentils, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. Limit simple carbohydrates, and trans or saturated fats. Avoid toxins like caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana. Avoid polluted air and poisonous cosmetics. Abhor overly processed products and added, refined sugar. But don’t over-control. Relax a little, now and then. Even a prized racehorse occasionally gets a little sugar cube to nibble on. Don’t be rigid. Soften.
- Move. Enjoy your body. Move it in every way you can think of. Then think of more. Be free. Be supple. Be inventive. Don’t fall into habits. Don’t live life on repeat. Experiment with looseness and tension. With different qualities. Dance. Play sports or martial arts. Practise yoga or parkour or free movement flows. Stretch your muscles. Mobilise your joints. Test your balance and strength. Test your endurance and speed. Sweat, but not too much. Don’t exhaust yourself. Build your energy; don’t drain it. Allow yourself time to rest and recover. But avoid sitting too much, or spending too long in the same position. Soak your mind into your body. Don’t live inside your head. Be a body in the world. A whole, connected body. Find your presence. Be grounded. Reach out.
- Meditate. Take time to relax. To really relax. Just sit and do nothing. Be still. Breathe softly and smoothly. Observe. Don’t know. Become skilled at watching your own thoughts. Don’t identify too closely with them. Stay alert. Watch what happens. See things rise and fall. When you get carried away by past, or future, or by colours of emotion, just smile. Return to the breath. Know yourself, here and now. Lose yourself in awareness. Learn to enjoy solitude and silence. Immerse yourself in it. Gift yourself a haven of peace. Make it a ritual. Do it every day, no matter what. But don’t take it too seriously. Don’t look for enlightenment. Just enjoy the practice. Find spaciousness in your daily experience. Let go.
- Engage. Find something you’re passionate about. Learn something new. Go deeper into something you already know. Take up a hobby. Get curious. Be adventurous. Do something creative. Start a project. Stick with it. See where it takes you. Don’t be drawn in by attention drains. Limit news consumption and social media. Don’t scroll or channel-hop. Don’t wait to be entertained. Don’t be lazy. Don’t procrastinate. Don’t just be. Become someone. Never be satisfied. Keep your brain stimulated. Find something that gives your life meaning. Finding meaning is really crucial, and it will rarely just appear of its own accord. You have to make it. Create your life.
- Relax. But work hard, also. Be clean and tidy and helpful and conscientious. Be productive. And try to figure out what kind of work will help you to thrive. Something meaningful and challenging. But be sure to relax, too. That’s easy to ignore. Breathe deeply and softly. Move lightly from your centre. Knead out knots and release tension from both mind and body. Listen to some music. Play some music. Sing. Draw. Imagine. Read fiction or poetry. Potter in the garden. Go for a walk by a river. Play with your dog. Get some massage or acupressure. Better yet, get some acupuncture. Give your body a nudge in the right direction. Get things flowing smoothly. Learn some qigong or taiji. Anything that dissolves tightness, stress, unconscious habits, and circling rumination. Anything that removes blockages and worry and stagnation. Immerse yourself in something nourishing. Don’t burn out. Find some balance. You’re all you’ve got. Look after yourself.
- Interact. Play games. Join a group or club. Foster meaningful social connections. Surround yourself with good, supportive people. Be open to deeper relationships. Listen to people when they’re communicating. Really listen. Don’t think you know everything. Don’t think you know nothing. Investigate. Debate. Try on different positions. But be sure to take them off again. Never cling. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Search for surprise and humour. Seek out people with bright spirits; people who raise you up. Laugh and have fun. It’s good to be alone, sometimes. But it’s not good to be lonely. Don’t be an island. Treat everyone as a friend. Treat everything as a friend. Be generous, be kind, be accepting, be playful. Be truthful. And be true to yourself. Accept yourself. Root yourself deeply in your compassion and shared human experience. And express yourself through the budding branches of your individuality. Grow with others.
Follow these seven simple rules, and a happy life should naturally follow. You just have to create the right conditions for something good to emerge. Of course, there will still be suffering in your life. Nothing can avert accidents and natural disasters.
But by living like this, you stand a much better chance of living for longer and in good physical, mental, and spiritual health. Health that can develop and find new levels. More satisfaction and greater contentment. More energy and more enjoyment. Less stress and less conflict. You’ll avoid the traps lurking in the background, hidden in your genes, waiting to be triggered. You’ll find happy coincidence and good fortune. Pessimism and doubt will morph into optimism and faith.
When adversity arises, you will be better equipped to deal with it. And you won’t bring unnecessary suffering upon yourself in the meantime. What’s more, your own good spirit will bleed out into the lives of others around you. You will become more magnetic, a source of joy and strength.
Once you begin to feel the benefits, it becomes easier. Admittedly, it’s a narrow path to walk. It’s easy to lose your focus. When that happens (as it surely will), simply learn, adjust, and realign. Don’t waste your energy on self-admonishment or regret. Begin again. Accept your imperfection. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to strive. It just means you don’t have to be perfect.
Don’t self-obsess. Cut yourself some slack. Count your blessings. And realise that nothing stands still. Not ever, even for a moment. You will never attain perfection completely. And even if you reach something like it, you won’t be able to stay there for long. Nothing is permanent.
At a profound level, the deep impermanence of existence is what allows you to drop your own small, separated, suffering self, and to extinguish the split between subject and object that prevents clear seeing. Impermanence facilitates wholeness and connection and forgiveness and freedom. But that’s a whole other discussion.
So, don’t be upset when you fall short of perfection. Besides, from the peak of the mountain where else is there to go? Be content instead to explore the mountainside for caves and gullies and weird goats. You might find something unexpected. Something enriching. Something beautiful.
But do conduct yourself as though you are intent on reaching that peak. Don’t give up. Don’t let things slide. If you persevere, you might just be able to keep chewing around its edges. You might even just enjoy your life. That’s something worthwhile to aim for, isn’t it? For your everyday experience to be essentially pleasurable and good?
Let’s start with number one, and see how far we get today…
The Azure Dragon 